The most important opinions

This week I am writing a response to an article I read recently. This article, and others like it, provide women with important information, they provide us with a strategy. The articles I looked at all covered similar topics, makeup trends that men hate. The articles came from reputable sources that as a woman, I go to for all important information, Cosmopolitan, and Allure. It is very important for all women to know what makeup or beauty trends that men find unattractive, how else are we supposed to find boyfriends who will eventually marry us, financially support us and give us children?

So ladies, pay close attention, I’m going to go through several beauty mistakes that men find intolerable. there is a definite trend here and let’s see if you can pick up on it.

First up, a bold lip. “When it comes to lipstick shades… it’s hard to blame them [guys] when every kiss carries the risk of clown face. Keep lips simple with a neutral pink lipstick.” Guys aren’t going to want to kiss you if you’re going to get color smeared all over their mouths! We should not be overdrawing our natural lips and be coloring them in with outrageous colors. Now you should all be going through your lipstick collections and discarding the bright reds, fuschias, and purples. Stick to lipsticks that are a few shades lighter or darker than your natural lip color. While on the topic of your lips, stay away from sticky glosses they are definitely not kissable.

Next up, smokey eyes. Girls, stay away from darker eyeshadows, you’re not doing yourself any favors. “Things can get ugly fast when heavy, dark shadows are piled on top of each other.” stick to the more natural colors, for example, softer browns work wonders to enhance your eyes and draw in potential suitors. In an article on Total Beauty, several guys clearly voiced their disdain for dark smokey eyes, one even stating “If you want to look like a crack head … you are doing a great job.” So help yourself out by getting rid of your dark eyeshadows in favor of a more natural color palette.

Now let’s talk about your skin. Now there are a few different things that men hate when it comes to a woman’s skin, the first on being caked on foundation. On Cosmopolitan, several men stated that this was the worst makeup offense for a woman, “Its always when they put too much makeup to cover stuff up. It makes their face look too smooth. Its too much.” Sticking to a lightweight foundation, minimal powder, and minimal concealer will achieve a more natural look. Heavy foundation makes you look too fake. On the topic of foundations, in addition to buying one that is light weight, you need to be sure that it matches your skin tone exactly. Many men are offended if they can spot a difference in color between your face and body.

While on the topic of face makeup and skin, men also are turned off by too much bronzer of self-tanner. These are both products that make you too orange and can potentially transfer to his clothing. Keep in mind, before you reach for your favorite bronzer or self-tanner, you would probably be better off going to sit in the sun for a more natural sunkissed glow.

Were you able to spot the trend yet? Guys prefer makeup that is natural. They like the no makeup, makeup look because they feel like they are seeing the real you. Too much fake tan, foundation, dark eyeshadow and red lipstick make men feel deceived. They want to see the real you. Guys don’t want to be faked out by a glittery cut crease, flawless contour, and highlight from the gods. If you are seriously looking for a man to marry, you need to leave behind the excessive and eccentric trends and stick to a more natural look. Makeup is not art it is a way to subtly enhance your natural beauty.

Thankfully, there are many articles about makeup trends that men don’t find attractive and they are readily available to all. Just the other day I saw a few articles on Facebook and one headlining Cosmopolitan’s Snap Story. Thankfully, there are many young and impressionable women exposed to these articles so they can learn at a young age what they need to do to make themselves more attractive to men. In closing, I am so very grateful to the men that provide their opinions on makeup. As a woman, I find it difficult to make decisions for myself especially when it comes to makeup so I am grateful for the extra guidance.

**This entire article is meant for satire and it in no way reflects my actual views**

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3 thoughts on “The most important opinions”

  1. OH_Sawyer, your satirical approach was quite believable in the devil’s advocate essay. The last 2 sentences made me smirk with irreverence. Great job!

    Like

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